Hi again ^^ ただいまーーーー！

After various months, I am back again! ^^

The real reason of writting again, is my travel to Japan, because the truth is I am not motivated at all to write here again, and actually, I think finally to create a blog wasn't a good idea.

I was right with the feeling that to have a blog is not a thing for me.
Actually, it seems as to create it only gave me problems since the day I did that
It was unuseful, and it also has given me many problems...

I think probably I'll close it when I am back from Japan.
Anyway, almost nobody read it too, in the past almost nobody, now, maybe nobody, so... ^^U

And it seems as I won't have good time again to can write happy things here, so it hasn't sense at all.
I feel this pain never ends, and I really have a great trauma of what happened last months.
And it doesn't seems it will end at all...

There was a time when I though people could love me only for who I am.
But people only love my happiness, possitive energy, and love I bring them, and how I kiss their ass many times.
When I don't show happiness, smiles, and I don't kiss their ass, there is a problem, because I hasn't the behaivour each others want me to have with them, and somepeople leave me.

They miss the happiness I give them, not me.

In the past I knew if I was sad I would be alone, because it didn't matter for nobody, so I always tried to show me as happy.

Someday lot of things changed, and I became to think people really could love my soul.
I am begining to think as in the past again.

Now, again, I don't expect nothing from nobody.
If they want to give me a good surprise, awesome!
And I'll can apreciatte it even more, as it deserves.

I'll stop wishing to much what I feel.
I'll stop to think of me again. It was a failure. And it only hurts me.

I won't stop to bring my love and smiles to each others.
I hope I'll do it right... ^^ I'll do my best.

But I won't hate myself, I'll defeat me a little bit too. Because I shouldn't destroy my self.
I could learn something of all of that.

So, although I guess already nobody read it, if someone read it and want to leave me, do that!
You will show me who I am for you.
And I have right as everybody, of feeling pain and want to throw it out, before it destroy me.
And I almost only do that in a stupid blog who nobody or almost nobody read, so I think it isn't so heavy to endure, right?

Well, anyway, I don't want to write bad things, although it seems the opposite ^^U it seems the opposite just because it became the only way to can throw out a little my pain. And I created it in a very bad time. That's the reason ^^U

Sooooo as I said, I think I'll close it when I am back to Japan, but I still think of it.

Anyway. I go to Japan the day after tomorrow, so, from now, I'll only write here things about travel from there. (And yes, I AM SUPER ULTRA MEGA TOO MUCH NERVOUS!! XD ^^)

Byebyeeeeee !^^ Have super great tiiime!!!

じゃあねーーーーー！！！