Tears

Mmm, maybe it's not a very good idea to write post with the mood down, but... Why not?
I am trying to have and keep a blog, so I have to write happy post and also not so happy post, or sad post, as in the rest of blogs.

These days, I am really under STRESS >.<
I am sooo tired of lot of behaivor of people. I am so tired of enduring stupid and illogical behaivor of people, and of feeling as I am always guilty.
I am so tired of enduring people who makes me feel so bad without reason and without caring of it, and then, those people feel hurt by me, with no reason at all.

I am tired of egoism of people. People love themself too much, and they forget how to love each others.
When it seems as I am begining to be better, suddenly someone more hurts me a lot again, and always like that.
I don't understand how can humans get worried for total stupid things, and don't care at all about important things.
I can't understand how people can be so insensitive, cruel, and stingy.
I will never understand humans, and I think I prefer to don't understand...

In the past, I was always wishing about nice words of something to me, lovelly words.
Because It was unknown for me.
But since few years before, I have a LOT of those nice words... For me this words don't have sense at all if this words aren't accompanied of acts. (and of course, real feels)
I think in the past I didn't imagine that words that seems to be so deep and strong, could be lies, or that people could have so unstable feels

For me the most beautiful words are just nothing, only can be something if this words are accompanied of deep feels and acts whose strong I can feel as real and deep.

Why am I so stupid that I become to love people too much, who they really don't care of me??
And why so fast and deep?
Well, I really like to be like that, but... in this world it's just a torture.
I don't have to change myself, I don't want it at all, and I can't do it too.
I have to carry on... carry on... carry on...
Please, someone... understand my tears.